A while ago, I wrote a post called Respect My Husband?. (http://www.peacewithgod.ca/respect-husband/) In this post I wrote about the effect the media is having on marriage relationships as it relates to giving respect to men.
There is a set pattern of behaviour being touted as ‘normal’ for relationships between what the media puts out and what we observe in society around us. However, with the divorce rate in our society now at 50%, I question the wisdom in accepting what the media and society at large are displaying as ‘normal’ behaviour for relationships.
Not only are the words we say to each other within a marriage relationship important, but the words we say to others about our partner and about our marriage relationship are equally important.
Intimate details about a relationship (bedroom details) should stay within the relationship. It’s just plain and simply not appropriate to talk with other people about how your partner is in bed. In stereo-typical fashion, a lot of times this one is blamed on men as they try to one-up each other whether it’s in a locker room conversation, or an outing with ‘the boys’. However, there are some women who go down this road in conversation as well.
Complaining about your partner’s behaviour or habits to other people is good way to undermine your relationship. Even though this causes damage to relationships, we see it frequently in the media and hear it often in society. Whether it’s a group of women with each complaining about how lousy their partner is or a group of men each complaining about their nagging partners, it’s all one and the same. I have yet to hear of a man or woman saying to their partner, “I am so glad to know you told all of your friends about the things I do that drive you crazy.” and actually mean it. In fact, it is usually devastating and demoralizing to find out your partner has complained about things in your relationship that drive them crazy.
Neither of the above two examples display love or respect for our partners. And neither of the above two examples set the stage for a deeper level of trust and intimacy within a marriage relationship.
The single best thing you can do for your marriage relationship is to pray for your partner every single day. Not a prayer of, ‘God I wish you would change this or that in him/her’, but rather, pray blessing over them, ask for God to help you love them the way He loves them, and ask God to work in your life to make you a better marriage partner. Lastly thank God for the gift of your spouse.
A good marriage takes two committed individuals to make the relationship work. Not only are the words we speak to each other important, but the words we speak about our partners are critical as well.
There is no one single thing that makes a long-lasting marriage successful, however, this is one of the many essential ingredients to building a loving, trusting and intimate marriage relationship.
I hope this blesses someone today.