Last Monday, I wrote about wives submitting to husbands and offered a glimpse of what Biblical marriage looks like.

While the term “submit” or “submission” often elicits a negative response in our society, when it is properly applied in a Biblical marriage, it is a positive.

I watched a couple of interviews late last week of Candace Cameron Bure as she defended her role as a submissive wife in a Biblical marriage relationship.  I love this quote from her, “Meekness, it is not weakness. It is strength under control, it is bridled strength.” – Candace Cameron Bure

While the media in the USA has been quite negative towards Candace’s statements about marriage in her interviews last week, I applaud her for having the courage to stand up and give a beautiful description of what a wife’s submissive role in a Biblical marriage is.

For decades now, North Americans have been fed a steady diet of media that portrays men as weak-minded, incapable leaders; prone to messing up the most basic tasks; most of whom would be completely and utterly lost if it was not for the amazingly strong and capable women in their lives.

Seriously consider how the roles for men and women have been portrayed in these popular television shows:

–          All in the Family

–          The Flintstones

–          The Cosby Show

–          Home Improvement

–          The Simpsons

–          Everybody Loves Raymond

–          The King of Queens

–          According to Jim

I’m sure the list could go on with several more, but for now I will stop here.

I remember back when I was newly married and had an issue with my car. Dan (my husband) was going to get it looked after, but before he could I went and asked my father what he thought the problem was and what I should do about it. I did it without thinking of how it would impact Dan. Dan was doing his very best for me and was in the process of looking after the matter and felt that I totally dismissed what he was trying to do by going to my father for advice and information. He said he felt like I didn’t trust him to look after me and that I didn’t respect him as the leader in our home. While it hadn’t been my intention, when I looked at my actions, I realized that he was right and I was wrong with what I had done.

As women and wives, we have a tremendous responsibility towards our husbands. In scripture women are not told to love their husbands. I think this is because loving them is easy for us. Respecting them, trusting them and submitting to them is what is more difficult.

However, when we display respect towards our husbands; and through both our actions and our words encourage our husbands to be the leaders in our homes, then they have the opportunity to be the men that God created them to be.

I have heard women say things to the effect that they will start respecting their husbands when their husbands start acting in a manner that is worthy of respect.  I wonder how those same women would feel if their husbands said they would love their wives when their wives started acting in a manner that was worthy of love?

It’s awfully hard to love someone who doesn’t respect you, trust you, or value your thoughts and opinions.

As wives, we have to look for ways to affirm our men. We need to build them up and encourage them to be leaders.  When he takes out the garbage without you asking him, thank him and let him know that you notice and appreciate the things he does for his family. Wives should be the biggest fans, the loudest cheerleaders and the best supporters of their husbands.

Instead of focusing on his short-comings, try focusing on his strengths. Instead of waiting for a perfect husband to show your respect to, learn to respect the imperfect person that God has BLESSED you with for his position in your home as the leader and remember that he is not in love with a perfect wife, he is in love with imperfect you!